Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the day after is always just damage control
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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