Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
