Already got asked if we're dating
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
