Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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