just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
