Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
