Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize