she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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