Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
