Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
