She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
