Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
