To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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