My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
