It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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