I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
