The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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