**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
