why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
