dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
