"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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