the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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