She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Randomize
