I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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