the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
