giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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