well you can't waste a boner
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
