legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
