We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
