my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
