Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
