At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It was like giving head to a cactus.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
