2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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