White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So much rum. So many feels.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize