I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize