im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
