Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
