Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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