When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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