Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
