GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
