Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
