Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.