Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.