I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?