yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"