if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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