he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
