We're like a lot better than the average bears
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
