meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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