This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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