Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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