i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
