can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
