did you get engaged???
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize