im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
