I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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