she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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