fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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