smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
