I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize