Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
