well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You are the jesus of drinking
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
