you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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