she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
