If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
