We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
then he tried to convert me to islam
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
